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Cleaning out the pantry, my war with food.

1/6/2020

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Picture
Abundance is relative
Every single thing that exists in your life beyond basic needs is a luxury. Being able to satisfy basic needs on a consistent basis is a privilege. That rice that has been in the back of your cabinet for months could feed a family somewhere for a whole day, maybe more. I've been inspired to do an audit of my pantry and consumption in general. Of course, since this is apparently the way I work, I had to set a very lofty goal that was very extra just to realize that I started simple.

Scroll to the bottom to read what ended up happening.
Going to gather all my food
see how long I can make it last
then eat only that
Won’t buy anything else until I run out of what I got
then 7 days without it

Because otherwise I’d be out of it
avoiding conversations like I’m proud of it
And I know there are some folks
thrilled with my abundance
And even pleased with my version of a lack of it
If it were in their hands
So ima stay grateful with what I get to experience

It’s a cleanse of mentality
new view of reality
That others face
In this human race

take away what I bank on
Change up things that I tend to count on
Just to see what life’s like out there
A little discomfort
Is a good challenge 

I visited with my parents over the holidays and had a pantry full of food that could feed a family for months. Here in Denver I’m pretty mindful of my waste, but there I found myself cleaning out the pantry, and throwing away many stale or expired things.


Upon coming home I’ve decided to take inventory of my own pantry, make one small trip to the grocery store... and will now buy nothing more until I’ve exhausted my supply.
Turns out that my pantry too could create many meals. After I’ve eaten the things I already own, I’m going to do a coconut water cleanse - aiming for 7 days - and will then and only then stock back up mindfully.

I’ve had an interestingly codependent relationship with food for a long time. Buying more than I need, eating more than I need, tying emotions to food way more than I need. Even when I’ve done 1 day juice cleansing my mindset changed completely until I fell back in the old habits/patterns/addictions of emotional eating. I know my triggers (dairy & Netflix), and I know that I can find the same fulfillment of going to the grocery store from going to a yoga class or creatively cooking something I already own.
Happy times often come with food - after all we have many meaningful conversations around a table with friends and family.... but food is meant to be an energy provider and sustainer for the body most of the time - not a way to pass it by.
#muchloveML

Peacefully,
- Madison Lavern


what really happened / it is 4 weeks after writing this post initially and I have not been able to accomplish more than a 24 hour food cleanse. My habits and deep rooted emotional ties to food are sturdy. There have been many smaller things I must do before I am ready to cleanse for more than 2 days.

I did go seven days without watching Netflix and that was really great! I tend to want to eat carb rich delicious food in front of a screen so not watching a screen has been a great supportive habit. But with Netflix it only takes 20 minutes for me to get pulled back in and want to binge all of the episodes I can. I also did so much reading, work, and art during these 7 days since I wasn't wasting hours watching Netflix. This is a good habit I will keep working at because it felt absolutely freeing to be so productive.

As for not going to the grocery store, well I managed to do that but found myself just eating pre prepared take out style foods, so that was a bit counterintuitive. But I did get a glimpse of eating the things I already owned for about 5 days and that was a very exposing thing to try. What I'm gathering is that I did a lot at once that really shook my ego and my ego fought back hard. I'm taking a step back and starting out on a more approachable path of a monthly 1-2 day food cleanse where I drink fresh homemade juice. Perhaps in the summertime I will do coconut water only, then water only cleanses. 

It is all about the journey and with patience in every breath the joyful and funny lessons are always available. Sometimes the route to accomplishing your goals changes far beyond what you anticipated and that is okay. 

-ML
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